Real Ghost!!!!

Just when I thought Science Doctors had discovered all the possible types of cancer’s there is, I was wrong, again.  Science Doctors’es have successfully discovered cancers for the bladder, colon and rectal area, kidney, lungs, skin, lymph nodes, prostate, thyroid, pancreas, endometrial, thyroid, and my favorite breasts.

If that’s not enough then remember that you can get eye cancer, brain cancer, cervical cancer, gallbladder cancer, liver cancer, nasal cavity and paranasal sinus cancer,  oral cancer,  renal cell cancer, salivary gland cancer, testicular cancer (Lance Armstrong), and my least favorite cancer penile cancer. That is cancer that affects the penis.

Prior to today’s discovery there was a group of beings unaffected by cancer, cuz they don’t have no body parts.  Yes, I am talking about ghosts. Ghosts have been around since the time that people started die’n. Have you ever wondered why there are only people ghosts and not animal ghosts? I have. Do you think a people ghost would be more scary than a snake ghost? Or octopus ghost? Or cat ghost? Nobody will probably ever know, but we now know that people ghosts can get cancer.

What type of cancer can affect a ghost?  According to Doctor Oz, from the Oprah show, who now has his own show, cancer can get ghosts where it hurts the most. IN THE SOUL. Apparently ghosts living near areas of high radiation, nuclear power, power lines, and caves are most prone to getting soul cancer.  Ghosts who had a lot of soul in real life are subject to getting soul cancer as well. James Brown’s ghost was the first celebrity ghost to get the soul cancer.

James Brown cartoon ghost

Just like regular cancer soul cancer sucks ass. Just like regular cancer we should all do our cancer duty and hate the shit out of Soul Cancer. The worst part of all is there is no treatment for soul cancer.  There are many reasons for this, so I will mention two. First, the government refuses to fund research for soul cancer studies. Even though we just discovered it, there was a bill passed in the senate that says, “Ghosts are not humans, so we can’t spend NO money on them!” Even if the Science Doctors had Jeff Gordon type of cash it would still be nearly impossible to treat. Science Doctors have reported, “Ghost don’t have a body, so how can I kill that cancer inside of that ghost if every time I try to put my doctor tools in there my hand just goes right through, like if I were trying to operate on steam from a kettle?” A lot of treatments include medicine that fights the cancer. Ghosts don’t drink water. Therefore they have nothing to swallow those big ole pills with.
Now, if you know anything about ghosts you may be wondering why would any ghosts have to worry about cancer? Aren’t they already dead? What fate can they suffer that is worse than death? These are all good questions.